“Rub it in Like You Love Yourself”

A Tomboy’s Skincare Journey

By Asiah Mae

I grew up in a whirlwind of glass perfume bottles, sheer pantyhose and dark brown lipstick — raised by women who dressed like they came from the set of Waiting to Exhale everyday. It was fabulous. And even though I can appreciate all of that beauty now, as a bright eyed wild child all I wanted to do was dress my Barbies up like Set It Off characters and fight the neighborhood boys. I was blessed that my Umi and my Gma let me freely express myself, but as I became a young woman, they became very focused on my hygiene, specifically my skincare routine. 

I wasn’t a dirty girl, because nothing ever beats going to bed on clean sheets, but I never cared about washing my face when I was younger. I’d grab the bar of Dove, lather it in my wash cloth and use it from my head to my toes. But starting my period stopped all of that. My Grandmother always took pride in having an attractive family and she made sure to let me know that my face was important. Her and my mother guiding me through my first skincare routine changed the way I looked at myself, because they guided me with love. They bought me everything that I needed, customized travel bags and tools, and explained anything I didn’t understand. They were so gentle with me and I could tell that they loved sharing this experience. It meant so much to me as the only girl in a house full of rowdy boys to have them carve out that time for me. Even now, I can still hear their affirming voices saying, “don’t forget to really smooth that cream into your face Asiah, you gotta rub it in like you love yourself!” After that, I was obsessed. 

Skincare became my constant. I was always complimented on my skin and that meant a lot to me, since I spent so much time studying it and caring for it. I took pride in people asking me for advice and letting me into their own journeys. I knew that skincare was an important part of who I was, but I had no clue where it fit into my life. I went off for college to study film, but I was still the “skincare girl.” I didn’t think much of it until I had to drop out and fell into a depression. I didn’t have a plan B.  I was lost and scared. I didn’t have school or a job or a lot of money to do anything else, so I spent a lot of time on Tumblr and Youtube learning more about skincare.

I’d ask my Gma questions out in her garden, and she taught me about herbs and the remedies that she used growing up. I felt myself slowly getting better and understanding myself again.  At this point, it wasn’t just physical — the journey was emotional, spiritual. I was creating with my hands, putting my heart into something again. I’d make scrubs and butters and oils for my friends and family and it brought me so much joy to see their skin improving using what I had created out of love. My friends convinced me to start selling them and I loved that experience too, but that wasn’t the part I really cared about. I cared about helping people, seeing their joy, and knowing that I had a part in that. I wanted to capture that feeling forever. 

It would be 4 years before I heard the word “esthetician” for the first time. I had a friend urging me to be a cosmetologist so I could work on people’s skin, but the research had shown that it was more about hair. I hate hair. Still, I kept researching because I knew that there was a lane out there for me. Google is your friend, I promise, because I literally looked up “skincare expert, no hair” and an esthetician popped up. I knew it was destined. I started working as a Salon Coordinator before I even graduated so that I’d have a feel for the industry, and that experience helped me get through school. I learned the ins and outs of spa culture, met some great people who continue to influence my journey, and gained so much more knowledge than I could have ever learned on my own. It also helped me learn how to help people better.

Now that I’ve gotten a variety of experience, I’ve found my niche. I realize that I don’t care about working in a salon or owning a studio, I want to help people find their routines. I consider myself to be more of a consultant, and I hope to be able to help my clients not only fall in love with their faces, but to find joy in the journey. It might sound crazy, but for me, everything stems from love. My love of skincare grew from my love of the women who raised me, our time together, and my love for making people feel good. Watching your face change everyday and knowing that you’re responsible for that glow is a beautiful journey and we all deserve to experience that — we just might need to be loved through it.

That’s what I’m here for. I know that those who need the loving guidance that I have to offer will find me, and we will create something beautiful together. I’m not just here to help you heal your skin, I’m here to help you heal. Period. Skincare is such a personal love offering and I want people to feel loved and carry that energy throughout their lives. Like my Gma says, “you have to rub it in like you love yourself.” <3

— Asiah Mae is a multidisciplinary artist and esthetician. Find her on Instagram or at Asiahmae.com